A few days ago, I decided that I would cut my son’s hair at home for the first time. WOW, that was WAY more difficult than it looks! Toddlers are all squirmy and did I really think that the child would sit still?!? HA! Shame on me…
So, off to Jack & Jill Salon we went. It took ten minutes, and my mistake was erased. Thank God, his botched Beatles cut was now a nice, styled Justin Timberlake-esque do.
After his hair was all fixed up, I was looking at his “after” photos, and it hit me. All of the sudden, my little dude looked SO much more like a child than a baby. I felt so heartbroken. What happened to my baby?! I busted out in tears. This is all happening way too fast!! And all of it brought on by a botched haircut?! What the heck is wrong with me!?!
Baby fever, yup. That’s totally it. I miss the baby phase. Did I just say that!?!?!? You might think this is horrible of me to say, BUT I never thought I would ever say I MISS THE BABY PHASE, considering that the first 6 months of my son’s life, it was a struggle. #thestruggleisreal Some parents experience completely easy labor, followed by a super speedy recovery, and a euphoricly amazing blissful nursing experience. Ummm, the truth is, that wasn’t me. Not even close. I had post-partum depression, it was so bad I would stand in the kitchen and cry…for no reason. I was traumatized by my C-section experience, trying to adjust to taking care of a new itty bitty person, functioning on zero sleep, while struggling to balance working full time/family/life/friend/home time oh, and that thing called “me time”. (What was “Me” time anymore?) On top of that, I was horribly ill. I was in the worst Ulcerative Colitis flare I had EVER experienced, to the point of it almost being completely debilitating. To the point where I almost couldn’t leave the house. For like, 6 whole months. It was like my immune system really liked carrying a baby, and once I had him, my body decided to attack itself from the inside out. (My guts, specifically.) No folks, it wasn’t all daisies, cute puppies and fluffy kittens and marshmallowy rays of sunshine.
And now, after all of the things I went through in order to feel sane, to find balance, to find time to enjoy every little moment with my son, to get myself back into remission….I must be crazy. I mean, CRAZY, because even after all of those things, I would do it all over again. This little dude is my #1. He’s my world. Beatles cut, or JT cut, it really doesn’t matter. He makes my heart sing. I wouldn’t take any of it back, and would do it all over again, in a heart beat. <3 [gallery link="file" columns="1" size="large" ids="396"]